Reflections from the First Six Months

(aka What We Have Learned from Raising Triplets) (aka Advice to Parents Expecting Triplets)

1. SLEEP Part I: Yes, despite never thinking it would happen again, Michelle is able to sleep comfortably (and on her stomach).


2. C-Section: We were totally unprepared for the number of people, the brightness of the room, and all the noise during the C-section. We still get uneasy any time we recount/relive the experience.


3. Going Home: The doctors will never tell you how long the babies will be in the hospital. No matter how many times we asked and no matter how persistent we were, the doctors (and nurses) always gave us vague answers such as, “They are progressing nicely” or “We evaluate them every day” or “If all goes well, a couple weeks or so.”


4. Leaving Without the Triplets: Leaving the hospital without the girls is one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. Fortunately, we only lived a mile away from the hospital and Thad worked across the street from the hospital; otherwise we would have stayed in a hotel. We were told that it would be a good thing because we’d be able to get extra sleep and prepare for the girls to come home; however we felt guilty not being there. Also, Michelle was very weak from the delivery which made it extremely hard to get the rest she needed to recover while balancing wanting always to be next to the girls.


5. Love: There are not enough words in the English language to express our undying love and adoration for our girls. They amaze us every single day.


6. Help & Schedule: Help was absolutely crucial the first 2-3 months. Then we got sick of the constant stream of people revolving through our house. Now six months on, we are recognizing the need for more help again. We are realizing that although it was extremely tiring there was a comfort when the triplets first came home knowing that they needed to eat every three hours and then would sleep. Although there was little time to do anything else there was a SCHEDULE. Leaving the NICU, the girls were on an established schedule and we were well versed in all the details. As time has gone on and the doctor’s appointments are further apart, we have had to adjust feeding amounts and schedules based on the signals (or perceived signals) the triplets have been giving us. I wish we would have saved all the scrap pieces of paper we used to try to figure out new schedules and bottle amounts – total madness. A continual adjusting of the schedules seems to be our reality at least for a couple of more months


7. Beds: For the first couple of weeks the triplets used two pack-n-plays as their beds. Samantha and Maggie shared one while Keegan held down the second. Quickly we realized that Maggie and Samantha were waking each other up and were able to borrow a third pack-n-play. About a month and a half ago, we were both struggling with back pain which we attributed to having to bend down over the pack-n-plays to pick up the girls. As a remedy, Thad disassembled the cribs and brought them downstairs for the girls (our bedroom is on the first floor and the triplets have inhabited the dining room since we brought them home from the hospital).


8. Doctor Appointments: As first time parents, we had no idea what to expect. We have found that juggling three babies and their gear (i.e. diapers, wipes, clean outfits, bottles, blankets, etc.) at the doctor’s office is exhausting, and yes, there are THREE insurance co-pays. Thad normally has to take a half day off when the girls have a doctor’s appointment as the logistics and coordination of getting three infants to the doctor’s office and navigating the visit is a two or three person task. Strategically choosing which triplet gets her shots first at an appointment is important otherwise you end up with three babies screaming uncontrollably without enough people to comfort and reassure. Going through a drive-thru or picking up food on the way home is always necessary – you’d never guess how many calories you burn (it is too bad the triplets don’t have an appointment every week).


9. Formula & Bottles: As the triplets were born premature, they were put on Similac NeoSure to help promote growth and strength. When the girls first came home from the hospital we were making 24 bottles a day (3 girls times 8 feedings a day). Now at six months, we are making 12-15 bottles a day (3 girls times 4-5 feedings a day). For the past couple of months, we have been going through approximately one standard size canister a day. Without the help of friends, coupons, the doctor’s office, a nice drug rep, and the Similac company, our monthly formula bill would be $500.


10. Sleep Part II: We have never ever felt this kind of pure and utter exhaustion.


11. Nicknames:
    Keegan: Poke-a-licious (because she can tend to be a little pokey when it comes to eating), Kego (Thad thinks she wants to be Japanese), Keggie, Kega
    Samantha: Sam, Sammy, Honey
    Maggie: Duckie (she makes the perfect duck face), Mags, Magglio, Peanut, Squirt


12. Travel Part I: As many of you know, we have always been dead set against owning a van that is mini; however, we quickly realized that a larger vehicle was going to be necessary as three car seats and two strollers completely packed our Jeep Cherokee to the brim. Thus the hunt began for a triplet utility vehicle (TUV) that would fit into our limited budget. Through the gracious help of a friend of the family, we were given an amazing deal on a hotrod TUV. The new vehicle has made trips to the doctor’s office and to houses of friends and family so much easier.


13. Monotony: As much as we love to feed the triplets every three to four hours, the repetitiveness can gnaw at you. One of the true comforters we have found to pass the hours of feedings is the Gilmore Girls. For those who don’t know, the Gilmore Girls is a show that recently ended its seventh year run and centers around the lives of a mother, who runs a small inn, and a daughter, who over the course of the show traverses through high school and college. The forty minute episodes have made us laugh, cry, and made 2:00 a.m. feedings and struggles with feeling “stuck” at home a little more bearable.


14. Bottle Propping: Most books on triplets, as well as the advice of other parents of triplets, recommend propping bottles to help aid in the feeding process. From our experience all we have to say is good luck. We have been blessed with triplets that are very finicky eaters and have significant reflux issues. So, if there are other triplet parents out there being told bottle propping is the solution to your feeding problems but it is not working for you please know that you aren’t alone.


15. Sleep Part III: The advice is to always sleep when the triplets are sleeping. Good luck! If, and we mean IF, the girls happen to all be napping at the same time, Michelle has so many things on her mind that it is next to impossible to rest. Anytime we get a few minutes of quiet, there are so many things that need to get done (i.e. making formula, loading/emptying the dishwasher, laundry, cleaning) that it is hard to fall asleep for those ten minutes they are all peacefully sleeping.


16. Circus Show: Whenever we go out, we feel like a circus side show. We hear the hushed tones as we walk by people on the street or at the grocery store. We are stopped by pedestrians with comments like, “Do you have twins?” or “Are they all boys?” or or “How do you do it?” or “Are they natural?” or “I bet you never sleep.” or “How do you tell them apart?” We have been known to cross the street in an attempt to walk in peace or avoid public places in an attempt to keep complete strangers from lifting up blankets or touching the triplets.


17. Swings: We have been blessed by receiving many different types of baby swings from friends and family to use with the triplets. After testing them all out we are completely sold on the Fisher-Price Nature's Touch Baby Papasan Cradle Swing. We even went out and purchased a second one as they have allowed Michelle over the past month or two to actually be at home alone during the day with the triplets.


18. Current Formula Recipes:
    Daytime
    i. 72 oz. of water
    ii. 36 scoops of formula
    iii. 14 tbs. of Rice Cereal
    iv. 10 tbs. of Barley Cereal (because it is easier to digest according to the nutritionist)
    v. Blend on High Liquefy setting for 1 minute
    vi. Poor in bottles and add 0.3 ml. of Mylicon Gas Relief Drops
    Nighttime
    i. 36 oz. of water
    ii. 18 scoops of formula
    iii. 14 tbs. of Rice Cereal
    iv. 10 tbs. of Barley Cereal
    v. Blend on High Liquefy setting for 1 minute
    vi. Poor in bottles and add 0.3 ml. of Mylicon Gas Relief Drops


19. Travel Part II: We roll around the neighborhood any chance we can, as the walls always seem to be getting closer, with one double stroller, one single stroller, and a little black dog named Moby. Come the spring we will be busting out the triplet stroller, which we are sure will draw even more attention but will allow Michelle to hopefully take walks on her own.


20. Loss of Freedom: We often talk about things we would be doing if we would have had a single birth: going to church, trips to grocery store, late dinners after work at restaurants, eating meals together, Christmas shopping, spending lots of time with friends and family with children, enrolling in Torah classes, taking trips to Charlevoix, McBain, and Corunna. This has been one of the major adjustments we have had to come to terms with over the past six months. We realize there are seasons/patterns in life and that things will change but this has been one of the big struggles for us.


21. Marriage: Just shy of seven years of marriage coupled with three years of dating truly prepared us for this experience (well that and the grace of God).


22. Laundry: One to two loads a day for the triplets. Our laundry, yeah right. Moving the washer and dryer from the basement to the kitchen has been a lifesaver.


23. Jumpy: Are girls are so very jumpy even shuffling papers will startle them.


24. Help Part II: Michelle’s mom has lived with us on and off for about eight months as first Michelle needed assistance as she was on bed rest and then the past six months as three infants require a lot of attention.


25. Music: The triplets enjoy the following musical artists/groups, especially when Thad is dancing to the music: Band of Horses, Timbaland, Ramones, Iron & Wine, Moby (of course they love music by their brother), Sufjan Stevens, Kelly Clarkson, Mary J. Blige, Nina Simone, Hot Chip, Regina Spektor, State of Bengal, M.I.A., Modest Mouse, and anything from Africa, especially the Heavenly Boys (from Uganda), the Soweto Gospel Choir, and Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Music that the triplets haven’t enjoyed so far includes Sonic Youth, Pig Destroyer, and Panda Bear.


26. Food Part I: We have learned how to eat very quickly.


27. Food Part II: We don’t eat very healthy as we rely on making quick meals or ordering take-out.


28. Food Part III: Thank you to everyone who has dropped off meals the past six months.


29. Food Part IV: The gift of a rice cooker has been a life saver the past month.


30. Pacifiers: We have a love/hate relationship with pacifiers. Keegan has never been able to keep a pacifier in and has learned to soothe herself. Samantha and Maggie love their pacifiers and have helped us keep some sanity over the past six months. However, when they would spit out the pacifier or wake up in the middle of the night and they would cry until someone would help them. Also, of late, they learned how to pull their pacifiers out but can’t always get it back in their mouth. So, as of New Years Eve night, we “lost” their pacifiers for good. Although the transition has been a little rough (as expected) we hope that getting rid of the pacifiers now will be a benefit in the long run.

What a fun and crazy six months. Thank you for everyone who has supported us through prayers, thoughts, emails, letters, gifts, meals, babysitting, etc., etc., etc. We truly understand the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” (Does that mean we need 3 villages???) We hope that you will continue to be part of our adventure in the coming months as the triplets learn to crawl and walk and talk (oh, how scary).

We thought it would be fun to hear from some of the readers of our blog. If you have questions regarding our lives (with triplets) please post your questions in the comments section and we will try to answer them in the next couple of weeks.

Love,

Thad, Michelle, Keegan, Samantha, Maggie, and Moby